I’m struggling with getting my pre-baby body back.

By August 8, 2017Community, Mom Life

Two months ago I gave birth to twin girls and I am struggling with the expectations of getting my pre-baby body back. Even more so, I am struggling that this is even a thing. It infuriates me to see magazine headlines like,“Celebrity drops 30 lbs three weeks after having baby”, or “How Supermodel gets her pre-baby body back”. These are ridiculous and unrealistic expectations for the rest of us living in the REAL WORLD.

Why are magazines promoting this? Why are we not showing the real post baby life?  The granny panties and pads you have to wear, the leaky boobs, the overwhelming emotions of no sleep, random crying fits, the constantly questioning everything you’re doing and if you have the ability to keep this tiny human alive. How about the sore nipples, pumping, bottles, how unexpectedly hard breast feeding is. How about marriage, relationships, friends and how all of it changes.  And now we are expected to be a size 6 in a month?

How about this for a change, instead of looking at Instagram and magazines for celebrity bounce back diet tips we look to each other and talk about the challenges and how hard it is? Let’s talk about the fact you barely have time to make a meal let alone a super healthy meal plan. You barely make it to the gym (if at all), you feel slow, out of shape and maybe like you are slowly losing your identity and mind all at the same time.  How about the REAL people talk.

YES. I will admit it, I get a certain feeling when I look at pictures of myself in my pre-baby body but to be honest for most of my life I didn’t appreciate the body I had when I had it. I actually never realized how good I looked until recently looking at old pictures and saying verbatim to my husband, “Is that what my body really looked like, because I never saw that.” Even when I was in the best shape of my life, at my “goal weight”, I never realized it because I never appreciated my body. I only saw what still needed to change.

I have been working on my body image for a long time and I now realize if I want different for my girls, I have to be different. Since giving birth I look at my body differently. I am committing to seeing what’s right with my body instead of what’s wrong because this is what I want my girls to see in me and in themselves.

I look at my belly and my scars and my cellulite and say, I created life with this body how could I ever hate it? I had two humans inside me. I am literally one of the most powerful presence in this world. I gave life. Why is this not the number one thing we are celebrating as women, the fact we can create life? Instead we are celebrating the model who bounced back in a month eating salmon and salad. Those are goals?

I have a friend who gave birth a year ago and she talks about how disappointed she is that her body (after a year) is not back to what it used to be. Guess what, for most of us our bodies will never be back, our lives will never be back to what they were. But isn’t that a good thing? My life is forever changed after having children and this is what I signed up for.  My friend is a successful business women who supports her family, spends quality time with her child, makes time to go camping, plan birthday parties, goes to the beach, all while managing her career. After having a really hard time getting pregnant she has the most amazing baby girl. And now all she can talk about is how she’s disappointed in herself for not having her body back. I think she’s supermom and she thinks she’s fat. How come we don’t see the amazingness in ourselves? It’s crazy but most of us have these thoughts.

How we feel about our bodies is the message we pass on to our children. So if we are obsessed about what we eat and working out 60 min a day those ideas will be passed down. If we are constantly questioning if our bodies look good, and only pointing out the bad our children hear us. They hear it when we say, “uh I need to go on a diet. I just need to lose this last 10 pounds then I’ll be happy. I really need to get back on it, I’m fat, I’m tired, I’m slow, and I’m so out of shape.” Literally we are passing on the message to our own family that we are not good enough.

In the beginning, kids know nothing about what they are suppose to look like. They don’t know the perfect body. Kids don’t grow up and say, “the best memory of my mom is how she looked in skinny jeans, or how she looked in a bathing suit.” The question is, are we setting our children up for unrealistic expectations because that is what we have put on ourselves?

Body bounce back is NOT a thing in my world anymore, body empowerment is.

Loving who I am at this moment is my goal. I work out because it’s my therapy. It’s how I get my mind right, release stress and change my attitude. Not because I have to burn a certain amount of calories a day. I eat food that makes me feel good and thrive in life. Sometimes that’s broccoli and quinoa. Sometimes it’s a cheeseburger.

We all have negative thoughts, we all have insecurities. But it is our choice to give those negative thoughts life, to give those insecurities power. Be who you are today. Embrace all life has to offer. Be the example for your children, your family, and your friends. For the next month, every time you look in the mirror I challenge you to say one positive thing about your body. Start focusing on what’s right with your body instead of what’s wrong. You have the power to change your perspective. How hard are you working to do that?

How about with this blog we work on our own body shaming? Next time you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative about your body stop yourself and say something positive. This is not always an easy thing to do but the more you practice, the easier it will be become. Why is it so easy to say something negative and so difficult to say something positive about ourselves? We have the power to change that, let’s start using that power with changing the way we speak about ourselves.

I love you all and I am here for you. #SpreadTheLove #NoBodyShaming,

Jenny

56 Comments

  • Tamara peace says:

    You ARE AND look amazing :-)you are healthy vibrant and happy & those baby girls will reflect that example…keep telling the truth;it’s everything great about you & the world

  • Julie says:

    Love this message and love how authentic you are! You’re a positive force that is changing all of us. Thank you Jenny!

  • Ann says:

    I had my children over 20 years ago, and still remember all of those post-pregnancy feelings like it was yesterday. I wish I had had somebody like you to speak the truth. Keep it up!

  • Sarah says:

    Thank you for writing that…..My youngest is 6, she’s seen me run she is beautiful race in Santa Cruz for 5 years, this year she wants to join me. Passing on a positive body image to our next generation is a gift we can give them.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Yes bring her!!! I can’t wait it’s going to be a great race and the girls and I will all be there!

  • Jacki says:

    JENNY!!!!!!! You go girl!!!!

  • Oscar Gomez says:

    I Love you Jenny, you always have beautiful words that inspire, motivate and drive people into really thinking about what’s really important in our lives. We all know it deep down but it’s great to hear it. God bless you and your family. Hang in there mamma it only gets better with kids and before you know it they’ll be 16. Then you’ll wonder how the hell did this happen you kids were babies just yesterday. LOL!! Parenting is journey all it’s own, enjoy and have fun!
    I’m always here for you guys, only a text, email or call away.❤

  • Jennifer says:

    Every mom should read this!!

  • Angelica L says:

    Yes! Thank you for sharing this, you are 1,000% right in all you say. We need to embrace our bodies, each other, and life rather than focusing on unrealistic expectations. It makes me sad when women are ashamed of their bodies, but it can be so hard with magazines only featuring stories that maybe only 1% of woman can actually achieve.
    We need to talk about what life and being a mother is really like, sore nipples and all. When my son was born I had a hard time figuring out how to push even though I attended birthing classes and read all kinds of books. I burst all the blood vessels in my eyes and they were all red and bloodshot for a long time. I didn’t want to leave the house or see anyone. Instead I was trying to catch moments here and there to sneak into the kitchen to eat cold rice out of the pot in the fridge and apple juice. It was a sore, sweaty, smelly, exhausting time full of tears, doubt, and uncertainty on my end. My body was completely different too with marks and lines that had never been there before.
    It has always been difficult to love and accept my body and some days I just push it all out of my mind. One thing I tell myself is that I am a different person than I was before my son was born, before my daughter was born, before I was in the thirties, etc. so my expectations need to evolve too since we are constantly growing. Seeing strong, confident, beautiful women is also encouraging. I love seeing an older woman confident in her own skin and want to be one of those women some day. We are all in this together and are all beautiful. Sending lots and lots of love to you Jenny! (you are 1,000% awesome)

  • Yvonne S says:

    You are so freakin’ cute!!

  • Susan says:

    After giving birth and especially if you are breast feeding, our bodies want FOOD to heal and to nourish the babies! Not only did you grow two humans you are now actively working to sustain them with what your body produces and that takes FOOD. You were in such fantastic shape before pregnancy, I’ll bet you get back there sooner than you think. But even if you don’t , SO WHAT?? You look super beautiful!!! The struggle to accept ourselves as we are at any given time is real. I went to the doctor last week and was lamenting about my weight and she reminded me that I weighed 20lbs less when I started seeing her and that even THEN I thought I was fat (I totally wasn’t). It was a reminder to love my self for now and appreciate what my body CAN do and how much stronger I am now because of your program (want to arm wrestle??) . We are ALWAYS bikini ready as is evidenced by your photo. At age 51, I am romping on the beach this summer in a bikini with my daughter and grand daughter because life is too fucking short to worry about weight I may or may not lose anytime soon. Rock on, sister! And thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Yes Susan!!!! Love your last two sentences so much. Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your story.

  • Alma says:

    I’ve never done your program and I should. But everything you say is right on. I do think about what my body looks like everyday.
    I have to say you look amazing for having twins! And they are beautiful just like mom! Thanks for sharing reality!!

  • Missy says:

    You continue to be positive and inspirational!
    I love reading all you share. This is real life and needs to the norm!

  • Laurel says:

    Jenny at it again, celebrating truth! I’m nearing 6 years post baby, eat pretty healthy and workout a few times a week and still am not pre baby body. I’ve resigned to the fact that that will never be and am FINALLY fine with it. My twin boys, when asked recently by their (visibly in shape) dad jokingly who was more fit, mommy or daddy, they actually replied, mommy. Kids see what our strengths our and that should be what we are paying attention to, not media built on profiting from our insecurities. Parenting is the most challenging, rewarding and important job we can participate in for humanity. Love you Mama ZENergy!

  • Diane says:

    Your babies are beautiful and so you!!
    The best thing a Mother told me when I
    Had a new baby is it’s all Temporary!! You
    Change and grow Everyday just like you do!
    Maybe your work out schedule will change so
    What. Your smart, ambitious and have two beautiful babies I love watching you and your are truly inspiring for all women!!❤️

  • Elizabeth Smith says:

    Yes! Beautiful, preach, and congratulations, Jenny!

  • Morgan says:

    Love this message Jenny! There’s definitely no such thing as a body going “back” into any kind of shape, only forward. Our bodies change significantly from breath to breath on a cellular level, and the only way to deal with it is with gratitude for what our bodies are capable of right this very moment

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Yes Morgan! Our bodies are capable of amazing things and we need to recognize that and EMBRACE it! #OnlyMovingForward #NotBack. LOVE IT!

  • Donna Kirkpatrick says:

    Amen❤️

  • Gretchen Pass says:

    I love this, especially being 4 weeks post partum myself. My mom was amazing but all of my childhood I remember her on a diet. She and my dad were very conscious about ingraining that the goal is always being healthy and strong in the body you have, not having the perfect body. It’s too bad that she did not have that ingrained in herself! One thing has always stuck with me….a few years after her death my dad said that, ” she worried about her weight her whole life, but her weight is not what people remember about her”. And it’s true, people remember who you are not your weight!
    You look great! XOXO

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Gretchen your dad is so right, and this is something that I say often, too! People do not remember you for what type of body you had, or a number on the scale. And YES another truth is that we cannot give others what we don’t have ourselves. Thank you for reading and sharing!

  • Lara says:

    You are Awesome!! I am so thrilled you are using your platform to spread this message-
    Excellent!!!!! I’m seven months post pardom and needed this reminder! Also I feel like The universe blessed you with two beautiful girls to help change how women think about themselves and their bodies! Bravo- keep It coming!!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      YES. The universe has given me what I NEED, and I will continue to spread this real and raw message as it is SO important!

  • Carin Sutton says:

    After reading this all I can think is this is exactly what you have always promoted at your she is beautiful runs. Age shape size doesn’t matter. We as women need to support each other and promote how wonderful we are.

  • Julia Mayer says:

    Dang the beautiful wisdom in all these comments has me floored! I came to raise my hand and be counted as one of millions of moms who has felt embarrassed by my body post baby, who despite all the magic I had made with this body it was never enough. I struggle with this every day, I feel ashamed sometimes to admit that. Thank you Jenny for shining the spotlight in this dark corner and calling it by its true name “bullshit”! Thank you other moms who commented here- so much perspective and wisdom. this is just another way we keep women small, we limit them to being “good” mom bodies or not. I love you.

  • Jen Gav says:

    Women united can do anything! Thank you for the raw… but needed truth in our journeys as women… as moms… as humans #changetheworld #love

  • Lori J says:

    Jenny:
    This is an imperative message for women, and for women to pass along to our daughters. When I gave birth to my daughter, after growing up in SB in the 80’s & 90’s & being surrounded by girls with eating disorders, I vowed that my daughter would never ever hear me criticize my body or any body part for being ‘less than’ or ‘too much’. EVER. She has never heard a word against my body fall from my lips. If any other family member jokes about my body being chubby, or my butt being fat – I can honestly say: it gave birth to two children, I have ridden dozens upon dozens of horses balls to the walls (still to this day), I survived a congenital spinal cord tumor that almost left me a paraplegic, I have nerve damage in my sciatic nerve from a disc injury in another back injury, I have had more surgeries than I care to count, but I keep getting up to fight like a son of a bitch. And I can’t tell you how many people have told me I have bigger ball than any man they have ever met. Do I look like a super model? No. Am I beautiful? Most days HELL YES. And this bitch has had some grand adventures and god willing many more to come my way.

  • Nicole Dunn says:

    You are amazing. Your energy is contagious and you are an inspiration to many. Thank you for being so honest and open about motherhood and the real Jenny. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • REBECCA BENDER says:

    hi jenny so freakin proud of you and the wise woman you have become..congrats on becoming a mom twice over..wow!!!

    hugs
    rebecca bender

    The greatest rewards are yet to come!! Your finest hours will be coming and just begun..You are on track to have it all!!! and knowing you now you will in deed in time be back to as good a shape as you were before and meanwhile enjoying where you are now.. LOVE YOUR PHOTO..LOVE YOU!!!

  • Mary Turley says:

    You are amazing and you look fabulous!! Love the bikini! I’m still wearing mine….at 59 yrs young! While on the operating table for the non scheduled C-section at the birth of my daughter…i was asking them…’How long before I see my baby?’ As well as ‘Hey Doc, we are talking eenie meenie bikini, ok!’ Keep up the great work….get your sleep, drink water, eat as healthy food as you can, and LOVE your baby girls!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      HA! So good Mary, and you are amazing for rockin’ that bikini! Thank you for reading and sharing.

  • Jess says:

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post! I too have just given birth to twin girls and it’s been a challenge to appreciate the changes this has had on my previously fit body. It’s great to talk about these issues openly so that every new mum can be more comfortable in their own skin post pregnancy and celebrate the joys of motherhood rather than worrying about being anything other than the beautiful sexy mumma that they are.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Jess! We are in this together! Am I following you on Instagram?!? What’s your handle so I can direct message you when I need twin mom advice, ha! And YES we will continue to talk about these issues openly so more and more people can feel comfortable and OWN their beautiful strong bodies.

  • Monika says:

    I love you for sharing this! Bringing two girls into this world is amazing! And you will be their mother forever and they’re going to be amazing.

    I’m 46 now I’m not that crazy 30 to-year-old client of yours that dared you to work her out as hard as possible. I don’t have the energy, metabolism and strength in my perimenopausal state: I have a muffin top and junk in my trunk but I still get to play ultimate frisbee, I hiked the Inca Trail last month and I still work out as my therapy so I get to be thankful that my body can take me through all these adventures and thankfully most everything still works even if a little less intensely than before. I’m told that we have more than 5 trillion cells that make up our body and that they literally respond energetically to our love for them. I can’t prove it, why not live into that? Children observe what we do more than what we say. Rock on Jenny!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      YES! I love all of this. I love all 5 trillion cells EVERY DAY and I am going to raise my girls the same!!!

  • Enza says:

    I love this article! As a doula I wish all my clients would look at this like you do! Moms are amazing creatures and their bodies change to accommodate life!! Kudos to you!!

  • Edward Jacobson says:

    Great! Love you Jenny!

  • Aimee says:

    Well heck, before I even read the blog I thought to myself “damn she looks amazing!!!”
    You’re body really does look great, but even bigger than that I think it’s who you are that stands out so vibrantly. It’s what you stand for. I respect and admire you! And those girls??? So darn sweet!!!!
    Thanks for bein you and all you share. I love it!!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Thank you for reading Aimee!!! Congratulations on being a grandma soon! So exciting. Love you!

  • Molly (Latterner) Mjolsnes says:

    You look amazing! People can be total butts about what they expect women to do after having children. I have 4 boys and my body is still recovering from it. I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago because of all the trauma my body has been through. I have to take hormones and have dealt with significant weight gain from all of this. I see what I look like now and hate it but all in all, I made 4 healthy people and THAT is what counts. Keep on keeping it real!

  • Amy Barnes says:

    So so real. I have 15 month olds and I struggle with those thoughts every day. I have people tell me “shoot for twins you look great!” I always say thanks, but with a grimace. Why can’t I just accept that I am a rockstar and bodies are always a work in progress. Not to mention I am pregnant again but then I struggle even more with I will NEVER get even a decent body back. Such the mental struggle! At least we are lucky enough to be able to have babies! 🙂
    P. S. You look great, but I know that’s not why you posted what you did. Keep being that rockstar momma, I’m sure you are amazing!

  • Liz says:

    Thank you for this. Its so easy to slip and fall into the negative spiral and body shame yourself constantly. Love this read! I’ll take on your positive challenge.

  • Love this so much Jenny! I have constantly compared my body to other women. Being on dialysis at age 11 (for 2 yrs) and 32 (for 9 months) (which stunts growth and impedes muscle development), having almost died from H1N1 and having multiple procedures and surgeries including 2 successful kidney transplants, its so easy for me to focus on the scars and bruises. Since starting your program though I have focused on the positive and what my body has done and continues to do for me (seriously, thank you!). I am SO grateful my body is strong enough to workout and work with kids regularly again. I am a survivor and I have my body and the fact that it didn’t give up on me to thank for that. I’m not going to give up on my body and my ability to continue to celebrate where I am in the moment. You have been such an amazing spirit and I admire you so much. Every time I read your posts I just want to hug you!!
    You are such an amazing person. I’ve said it before, but those girls are SO lucky. Keep doing you! Love it!

  • Breast feeding is supposed to help reduce the body fat, but honestly all three times I never lost any weight until I stopped nursing. Then after a time of normal living and taking care of kids and walking and working, you regain your old body, well, maybe not quite as firm and perky, but womanly and showing evidence of having done the amazing job of carrying a baby, or babies! I am so proud of my three daughters and how they’ve handled becoming moms. It’s all consuming sometimes, but also, incredible. Congratulations Jenny, on your new littles and thanks for always being real. All love, Marylu —age 75 and counting….

  • Melissa Tierney says:

    AMEN LADY!!!!! we all go thru it and need to spread the support…!!!!

  • Jessica Clark says:

    Jenny! This motherhood gig…man…its NUTS! Let’s connect when you can. YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB. Who knew breastfeeding was SO HARD?!?! Holy smokes…
    xoxo

  • Linda Lee says:

    Jenny, you are amazing and have built a wonderful community!! We love you for you! And I also want to hug you every time I read your posts!! You are such a special lady! You go Jenny! So happy for you and your beautiful daughters!! Love to you always!!

  • Becky Hebert says:

    I don’t comment often so hear this.. 1) no family can be truly HAPPY if mommy ain’t happy.. find your happy and cozy up.. 2) if you are honestly do all you can to be your best.. even if it’s just opening your eyes and exhaling .. you are right where you need to be right then.. settle in.. embrace that moment for whatever it is going to give you or teach you..3) at the end of the day Perfection is the enemy of pretty DAMN GOOD.. ! take each day as it comes .. find your stride.. you got this.. and when you don’t.. lean or crumble on those you love you most .. we got your back.. ❤️‼️I send you much love and tenderness as you continue onward through the best adventure of your life!! Xoxo

  • Amanda says:

    AMEN sista! I have 2 1/2 year okd boy)girl twins and am not even close to having my body back. This year I am focusing on eating better and trying to evercise for 30min a day mainly to just feel more energetic. I’m also a fulltime teacher but have decided to take a slight reduction in my teZching time because life is too busy! Do what makes you happy! Life is too short!

  • Shani says:

    I just had my twin boys on July 28th. They were delivered via c section at 33 weeks 6 days. I struggle very much with the way my body looks right now. For whateber reaosn. When I’m pregnant, I lose weight and look really good, but then after I have them the weight comes back. This time around I have the c section shelf thing and it is so discouraging to look at. Thank you for writing this. I really need to change my perspective and be able to see myself for who I am beyond the stretch marks and scars and floppy belly.

  • Tiff says:

    Hi Jenny, I saw your wonderful, inspiring Ted Talk on youtube. I am sending you so much love and positivity. I love who you are and your true values . I wish you so much good luck and good wishes for you and your family. I really loved your talk because you owned being loud and proud. I can also be loud, and as you know, people for some reason try to discourage it. My loudness is a personal expression of my passion and energy. Sometimes people wish I would be more quiet, but other times other people have been drawn to my high energy and positive vibes. You have helped me learn not to apologize for who I am and to love who I am. You are amazing, and thank you so, so much for having the courage to put yourself out into the world through ted talk and your brand. I recommend watching youtube videos of Mark Divine if you have not heard of him. He’s also very inspiring and you two are both wonderful teachers. He has a lot of unique performance tips you might benefit from. Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day and please be careful out there because the world benefits so much from your existence. <3 Tiff