I HATE saying I’m SOBER.

By September 16, 2016JS Movement

I HATE saying I’m SOBER.

For those of you who don’t know, in a little less than a month, I will be 4 years sober. I HATE saying I’m sober. I HATE saying I am an alcoholic. The words SOBER, ADDICT, and ALCOHOLIC are shame-based words. I see people physically cringe when I say them. Not to mention, it brings forward some judgement.

“Addict” is a strong word linked to a lot of judgement. When I was drinking, I would often tell myself there was no way I was an alcoholic. I would justify it by saying things like,  “it’s not like I’m drinking everyday!” My anxiety would get so bad that I would compare myself to people who had “real drinking problems” and I justified my behavior by saying, “I only really drink on the weekends.” The people I surrounded myself with thought nothing of it. I was “fun”, the life of the party, and no one over questioned my out of control actions. But no one ever saw that aftermath. The anxiety and the depression would sometimes get so deep that I would call in sick to work, cancel on my clients, and completely hide from the world in my apartment.

My perspective shifted when I attended a seminar with one of my favorite trainers, Todd Durkin. He talked about how so many people live double lives. They put on a façade around people, but actually are living in a completely opposite way from their front. But the quote that resonated with me most was this: “In order to be a leader, you must be the example.”

On that day, I came to terms with my toxic anchor. I realized almost everything I did was to make myself feel accepted by everyone, because I didn’t accept myself. I had lived my life with the label of being the wild child and the black sheep of my family. I told myself that if I was going to have that label, I would accept the role and play the part like a star. The truth was that I wasn’t the black sheep, or a wild child. I just gave myself those labels. I was too scared of finding out who I really was without anything to hide behind.

I called my business partner the next day and asked him to go on a run. I stopped midway up a hill and said something I’ve never said before, but something I had known my entire life. I’d avoided saying it out loud in fear of rejection, judgment, or abandonment. I said, “Stephen, I am an alcoholic.” He responded with tears in his eyes. “It’s about time. Now that you’ve said it, let’s move forward.” There was never any judgement or shame, only forward momentum.

None of this is easy. Making a change, sticking it through, writing this blog – it’s all hard. Change and openness is challenging, and it’s why most of us go back to what we know. It’s just easier to give in. Whenever I thought of giving up alcohol, I would ask myself: how will I ever meet anyone? Who wants to go on a date with someone who can’t have a glass of wine? How will I ever go on vacation, celebrate birthdays, go to parties, holidays, survive my family without alcohol?! It’s overwhelming to think of everything I’d have to give up. The mere thought of giving up alcohol usually made me want a drink!

There were a few conversations I’d had with friends who couldn’t imagine me without a drink. One friend said, “I don’t understand why you just can’t have one or two drinks, I just don’t get it.” Then another friend said, “you can’t trust people who don’t drink.” Funnily enough, a couple years later that same friend called and wanted help quitting his addiction to soda. We don’t have to understand people’s personal struggles. What we do have to understand is that we are all struggling, and other peoples struggles are not better or worse than our own.

Here is the truth: we are all fighting something. Alcohol, drugs, shopping, food, gambling, porn, people pleasing, and yes soda; these are all the same thing. When we avoid feeling our own reality or becoming our best selves, each of us reaches the same finish line – a life lived without fulfillment. When we lack self-acceptance and self-love, we look to unhealthy habits and other people to fill it. Its impossible to learn how to love yourself from the approval of other people – it must come from within. It’s time we stop filling our voids and start loving who we are. I’m still loud, fun-loving, and super fun, but now it’s on my terms. I love who I am and I love where my life is going because I no longer sit in the passenger seat, I’m the one driving the car.

I’m giving you permission (not that you need it) to know that whatever you are going through is not too big or too small. Whatever you’re fighting, if it’s holding you down, holding you back, if in your gut you know you are better, here is the moment you can cut the rope to your toxic anchor. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. There is a direct correlation to the happiness and success I’ve found in my life today and that decision I made 4 years ago. Love who you are and realize that your happiness is more important than other people’s. It will change everything. I am so grateful to be on the other side of this and to know that what I used to think what defined me is what was holding me back.

I love all of you, thank you for letting me tell my story.

ALIVE and LIVING,

Jenny.

 

flannel

171 Comments

  • Victoria says:

    Jenny I ❤️Your blog!!
    Xoxox

  • Karen Prechtel says:

    Thank you for telling your story Jenny. That takes courage. You’ve inspired me so much!

  • Beth says:

    You are an inspiration Jenny. Great blog and beautiful pictures too.

  • Tracie winstrom says:

    You’re amazing. Thank you for continuing to share your truths. Xoxoxox

  • Bev Morey says:

    I love you even more for sharing your story! Everyone has something either something in their past or that the carry now! Who are we to judge them. Jenny you are just such an inspiration, thank you for sharing this and yourself with this world!!! With this blog and what you wrote just today you have probably saved many,many lives!
    I hope to someday experience the JS program but until then I love all that you post to inspire me and the world! Keep up the fabulous work, my FB friend

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      I love you too Bev! Thank you so much for these kinds worked and letting me inspire you with my posts! I can’t wait for you to walk through these JS doors one day and I am going to give you the biggest hug!!

  • Mom says:

    I have always known in my heart that this phenomenal woman was living inside Jenny Schatzle. I have always loved you and been so proud of you, but there are not words to tell you what I am feeling after reading this!!!
    You have been such a POSITIVE FORCE for so many people, including your own mother, if everyone could look on life as you do, this would be a wonderful world!
    I know you know this already but you are a very SPECIAL woman!!!!! I love your strength, accountability, energy, caring and sincerity!!!!!
    I LOVE YOU!!!! My heart is bursting!!! So Proud!!

  • Dorothy Poley says:

    Wow! Just wow! Thank you for always speaking from the soul.

  • Patrick Jager says:

    so very proud of you – the openness, the honesty, the truth. And the empowerment!

  • Victoria says:

    You are truly amazing!!

  • Christine F says:

    Thank you for sharing your personal story! You truly are an inspirational leader and good things are happening for a reason!!! Love being a part of the JSP community ❤️

  • C Chase says:

    Jenny, this was one of the most honest and beautiful posts I’ve read . Your honesty and courage brought me to tears. I first took your class in October of 2012 and you were then and continue to be an inspiratiin. And yes, there are all kinds of addictions out there, we just have to be honest with ourselves and we ALL will find our own to tackle. (mine, “people pleaser” among them) Cheers to you Jenny for owning yours, may your words inspire the rest of us to do the same and truly be FREE like you! Xoxo

  • Tim says:

    Hi,

    Today, Sep 19, 2016 is 17 days away from my 1 year anniversary of sobriety. My story is not like yours, not that that matters one way or the other. It’s not better or worse, it’s just exceedingly different. The start of my sobriety had nothing to do with me making a decision, or a friend being there to hear me admit it. The source of, and cure to, my alcoholism is so outrageous I am afraid to tell the story to rational people. Though I’ve promised to share it when I hit the one year milestone. Many people will dismiss me out of hand as either lying or mentally ill. Others will just simply not know what to make of my story.

    Regardless of any, or all, of that . . . I know one three things for absolute certain because of October 6, 2015. One of the 3 things is that I will never, ever, have another drink of alcohol again. It won’t be a struggle for me. I won’t ever be tempted. I won’t want a drink. Being around other people who are drinking will make no difference to me. All aspects of my alcoholism, physical, mental, spiritual, were completely purged from me on the 6th of October, 2015.

    Prior to that, towards the end of my time as an alcoholic I was consuming, oh, roughly 40 – 60 ounces of beer during the noon hour, and then another 10 ounces of scotch and often more beer at night. There were many nights when I’d drink an entire bottle of MaCallan 12 in one evening. Other nights I’d sit alone on my deck (I almost always drank alone, or simply in front of my wife and 4 kids) with a 6 pack of the strongest beer I could find and a 10 ounce glass of scotch on the rocks. Drink it all down and . . . what? Nothing.

    I called it (to myself), “putting the fuzz on”. When I drank, especially the scotch, I coated my body with a fuzz that I could feel but that no one could see. My kids would see a father with a glass in one hand. But they didn’t know about the fuzz. The fuzz, you see, lessened the stress and agony that tried to get in. Kids screaming at each other. Mom screaming at kids. Tears and slamming doors over homework. Everybody screaming at everybody, except me, very often just sitting there with one of the kids, covered in fuzz, doing a math sheet. And when those angry words, and loud noises hit the fuzz . . . they dissipated so much that by the time they actually reached me, it wasn’t that big a deal at all. No problem. Whatever.

    Night after night, day after day, covered in the fuzz, just to survive.

    I started drinking alone when I was 17 I suppose. Maybe 16. There’s no time for the long morbid story but it’s enough to say I have been tormented with depression my entire life. I have never, EVER, had a “nice” dream I can remember. I’ve only every had nightmares. As a 3-4 year old I would dream of being on a tightrope in outer space. Paralyzed with fear. One false step and I would float off into oblivion. Couldn’t dare step forward couldn’t dare step backward. Just me there alone in the blackness. I would run to my parents room screaming. Their response was to give me anti seasickness pills from my dad’s old navy kit that were 10 years old. I slept without dreaming that’s for sure.

    As I got older my nightmares became recurring. It went like this. I would die in some horrific, visceral, technicolor scene. Watch myself dismembered or disembowled, etc. Then, watch as a spirit as my funeral took place. I would float above my casket and see that no one cared enough to come. There was no one to say anything. No one to remember me. So they threw me in the ground, covered over the box and left it, unmarked. I dreamt this over and over and over, night after night. For years.

    This leads me to the second thing I know for sure. People aren’t going to like this, but I don’t know what else to say, because I know it’s true. The truth is that demons exist. I know because I’ve heard one call to me.

    Forget the suicidal thoughts and attempts, etc. Another topic we don’t have time for. It’s enough to say, for me, I’ve tried and it’s not possible. I am not allowed to end my own life by my own hand. That’s all there is. No matter what I endure, I can’t end it early.

    At a time that I thought was the worst of the worst. Roughly 22 years old, high on extremely powerful pot, drunk to the point of incoherence, alone in a room full of 20 people. All of everything dropped away and I heard the voice of the demon. It was as deep and dark and foul and otherworldly as you might imagine. It called my name. It wanted me to come to it down the hall in the back room. It was not IN my head. It came from without. I felt its presence, hot and cold at once. I thought everyone else did too. But they didn’t. I immediately sought psychiatric help.

    23 years later there I was on my 45th birthday drinking and celebrating like I had for the past 20+ years. My wife met me for lunch and I drank through her. My friend met me in the afternoon and I drank through him. I drank through one more drinkin’ buddy that night and it was time for me to head home, driving.

    I drove home. Grabbed my razor cutter, bottle of scotch, little bit of pot, bottle of anti anxiety medicine and I was good to go. Finally, at long last, I was going to do it. End my misery and follow the plan I’d made. I got in my truck to drive to the place off the road where the cops couldn’t see. To take the pills with the bottle of scotch, open the veins in my wrists and smoke a little just to drift away.

    It didn’t happen. I ended up 20 miles from where I was supposed to be on a road I’d never been on before, with no idea how I’d got there. Again, thwarted by something that will not allow me to take my own life. As drunk as I was, it’s not possible I could have driven that far, in to that much unfamiliar territory without either hitting someone, something or being noticed by police. Instead I went home.

    The next day was October 6, 2015. I made NO plan to quit drinking, that’s for sure. I was so hung over that I was physically sick all morning. I did have a doctor’s appointment that day at 1:15. What it was for is irrelevant. What happened next IS.

    I had been so sick all day to that point I didn’t think I was going to make it. Certainly I didn’t eat anything. I couldn’t even drink water. Nothing stayed down. I vomited so much I had nothing in my stomach. Nothing.

    I checked in at the Dr.’s office front desk. Had the initial consultation with a nurse and then was sent back out to wait in the waiting room. At that moment it hit me – a wave of nausea. “OH NO!!!!!” I prayed. “Not here, anywhere but here!!!” But there was no avoiding it. I needed a bathroom right now.

    I stepped into the stall, leaned over, opened my mouth and out came . . . slowly . . . a silver cloud. It was dense, had form and shape and mass. It floated towards the bowl. INSIDE it I could see little streaks and balls of light. As it was happening I held my both hands against the side of the walls, bracing myself in astonishment. I couldn’t breathe or speak. I was paralyzed. As it hit the bowl it collapsed into a liquid-nothingness. It was gone.

    I staggered back out of the stall, tears in my eyes, in a complete and total daze. I was not able to comprehend what I had just experienced. What I had just experienced was impossible. Yet there is no other explanation. You see, in the time since that moment, I have not had a single drink. I have not wanted a single drink. I have had a bottle of scotch that I received as a present on October 5th, 2015 sitting behind my desk all year, and I’ve never once considered taking a single drink of it. I have no interest in alcohol of any kind. Further, I went from drinking ½ to a bottle of scotch a night PLUS 40 – 60 ounces of beer, to NOTHING of any kind in one day and never experienced a single withdrawal symptom.

    I said before I know 3 things:
    1. I will never, ever, have another drink of alcohol again.
    2. The truth is that demons exist.
    3. On October 6th, 2015 God purged me of alcohol. In my case it was a demon, an alcoholism demon and even though I didn’t ask Him to, God pulled it out of me forever.

    Amen!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Timothy,
      I am literally sitting here in tears and speechless.
      1. Thank you for sharing your story
      2. You are not crazy, people will not dismiss you and this did happen.
      3. I am beyond grateful to have just read your story.

    • Gabrielle says:

      Crying! Amazing story Tim! Praise God!!!

    • Hi Tim:
      You don’t know me, but I know the truth of your experience and the powerful mercy of God. So many are ignorant of the “unseen realm” and reality of its influence for evil and good. That’s why more people need to hear your story and know the grace and mercy of God. Thank you for having the courage to share it…one of the many benefits of belonging to the JSP community.
      Blessings,
      Richard Ramos

    • Marcia says:

      Wow, that was a very powerful story, and hard to read. I am glad you got through that.

      My mother was an alcoholic. It killed her. She never met my second child. It makes me sad. Used to think about it every day, but it has faded.

    • Suzanne Rogers says:

      Tim, Wow, That’s a Crazy story…BUT…I believe you!! It was just “time” and God had enough of you sitting on ur drunk *ss as ur life went by! haha
      ( I mean this with the best intentions)…
      Whats weird is that Im going through a very similar situation RIGHT NOW – and then i saw Jenny’s blog & read ur story…I THINK THIS WAS A SIGN FOR ME TO ALSO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN MY LIFE ASAP….I’m ready.
      Thanks for the story and I wish u the best,
      Suzanne~
      PS~ You might want to consider WRITING as this was a Riveting story…

    • Heather says:

      What an incredible experience. I’m relieved you’re here. Living and able to share your story. Blessings to you, Tim!

    • Heather says:

      Damn. The truth is powerful, thanks for sharing your story. Changing toxic patterns requires so much strength. Proud of you. <3

    • Rachel says:

      Incredible story Tim! A story that must be shared. Again and again.
      Thank you.

    • Renee says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your story along side Jenny’s. I”m so glad you made it through your demons and are now present and alive to be with your precious family.

      Both your stories have made me take a look at myself and realize that I need to stop with the wine. It’s so easy to ask friends if they “want to meet and have a glass of wine?” But for me, it’s RARELY just one glass. It’s usually one, then another, and another…and sometimes I don’t even remember what happened the night before but when reminiscing about it with my friends, I pretend I remember everything. Truth is, my drinking has broken so many of my relationships and I’ve made my worst decisions while drinking.

      I am like Jenny in that I’m the fun, partier that nobody questions is having a good time. People love to be around me and I’m told that I’m the life of the party. Truth is that I ALWAYS feel bad the next day and hate myself for my lack of self-control. I am responsible, don’t drink and drive, and own a business. Nobody would realize my struggle.

      God is good and He leads us where we are supposed to be! There are no accidents that I read these posts and I’m grateful to Jenny, Tim and God!

      My last drink was Sunday, September 18. One day at a time….

      • Jenny Schatzle says:

        I am so proud of you. Thank you for writing to both Tim and I. I know how hard it was for you to comment on this and I am proud of you. One day at a time literally is how you get through it. I LOVE YOU and I am so proud of you!!!!

  • Cathy says:

    Beautiful Jenny. It was great meeting you and Stephen. Love you both more after reading this!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      CATHY!
      Thank you for reading my blog! Loved hanging out with you last week. You and Joey need to make a trip to Santa Barbara. Even though I don’t drink we will workout and I’ll still bring you to the best wine spots and restaurants in town!!!

  • Laurel kirkland says:

    #winning
    You weren’t hiding, you’re still the same Jenny, but without the mask you put on. Quitting drinking certainly allowed you to accept that that boisterous, vivacious being is just who you ARE and that you don’t need an excuse to be that person! I love this declaration of truth and I know it has inspired me and of course will do the same for others. Love you Jenny!

  • Jennifer Araza says:

    I love you. #truthteller

  • Lisa Hutchens says:

    Thanks for your honesty, Jenny, and thanks for helping to remove the stigma associated with the disease of addiction. If it can happen to someone as awesome as you, it can happen to anyone. This disease is the great equalizer.
    You have never ceased to amaze and inspire me with your energy and positivity. The world is a much better place for your being in it.
    Cheers and hats off to you, my friend.

  • Tina Valencia says:

    Jenny I applaude you for being so real and transparent! I grew up with alcoholism in my family and as a Christian I choose not to drink because I know the hurt and turmoil it can bring to a family. I always have people ask, “you don’t drink?! What do you do for fun?!” I say, I don’t need alcohol to have fun…!!
    I like being sober minded and in control of my actions !! Lol…I’m not judging anyone-I just know what I need to do to protect myself and those around me. I pray you find comfort in your soberiety and power!! The power to help others like you mentioned- it’s an awesome thing to be a mentor and I know you have been blessed to do just that!! I know because my daughter Sierra takes your classes and loves your energy and motivation!! Keep being YOU and don’t ever let anyone make you feel “less-than”! You have been created in the image God and that is an amazing thing!!

  • Jeff says:

    Very brave to share this Jenny. How are truly helping people.

  • Susan says:

    That was POWERFUL, Jenny! Thank you for sharing!

  • Leora says:

    Jenny you give hope and inspiration to so many we are alll so grateful to have you here in Santa Barbara telling your truth and helping those who still suffer

  • John e Kelly says:

    Jenny

    I have enjoyed your blogs and postings. I was blessed to know your mom very well when we were kids and your sister and brother when they were young and now, through your postings and stories, I have gotten to know you. I find all aspects of your stories inspirational and I admire your courage in sharing such intimate details about your own life in this and in your earlier postings. God bless and keep inspiring and challenging those who follow your work.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      I remember visiting you!! Thank you so much for these comments it means the world to me. You truly never know who is reading the stuff you put out! I hope you are doing well and again THANK YOU!!!

  • Josette says:

    Jenny

    I love and Support you and your magnificent shining luminous light in our community and the world. It takes COURAGE to tell the stories of the darkness from which we emerged. But those stories resonate with the ones who NEED your light to understand their own journey. Keep on Rockin on! with love light HEALTH and some crazy booty shakes!

    xo
    Josette Tkacik

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Josette!
      You know I love and respect the heck out of you women! Thank you for reading my blog I can’t wait for us to run into each other and place a big ass hug on you!!!

  • Kenny Arnwine says:

    Thank you for being courageous and sharing your story. Now, 2 years since I left SB, you continue to inspire me. I always thought you had it all together but through each of your blogs I realize you face the same struggles we all do, but you are a conquerer! Stay Awesome Jenny!

  • Stephanie Buckner says:

    You are a very inspiring person. Being real, being authentic is critical to living a life that makes yourself proud. You are the important one, not everyone else or what they think, feel, say, do…as long as you live your truth and treat others as you wish to be treated, and even if they don’t, continue to anyway, you will be happy and love who you are.

  • Shelley Vail says:

    Jenny, you inspire me in so many ways and have ever since I first met you in 2010. This post is a BIG one, thank you for being so open & honest, and congratulations. Miss you!

  • You are amazing. Thank you for helping others with every fiber of your being. It was why you were put on this planet. Send Timothy (above) love. He’s had a hard journey. I love you with every fiber of MY being. xx

  • Susan says:

    Jenny! Your mom’s comment made me cry. Thank you for being so fearless and sharing yourself this way. The rapid upward trajectory of your life IS directly related to living such an honest truth. Heck, I’m right there with your mom being so proud of you. Shucks, lady. You’re awesome-sauce!!!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Susan!
      THANK YOU and Thank you fro recognizing my mom she really is the best. Means the world to me and from one AWESOME-SAUCE to another love ya!!!

  • I love this so much, Jenny! My anniversary of sobriety is my birthday (I love how that worked out), and this past June I celebrated 3 years sober. I resonate SO much with the things that you said! Thanks for being such a wonderful example, and such a bright light in this world.

  • Donna Brown says:

    Jenny, thank you for sharing your beautiful story of strength and courage!

  • Sue says:

    Dear Jenny,
    WOW! THERE IS ZERO SHAME IN THE SCHATZLE GAME! I was blown away by your brutal honesty related to your miscarriage, and now this. Can you be any more inspirational? I think not! I too am sober, but I’m not one to shout it from the rooftops for all the reasons you mentioned. But man, I applaud you! Thank you for being such a role model to this community and for reducing the stigma associated with alcoholism and addiction issues! So many people suffer in silence and I am sure that many more people will get the help they need specifically because of your courage. In love, health and gratitude…

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      SUE!
      I am proud of you. Keep it up and thank you so much for taking the time to read my blogs. LOVE, HEALTH and GRATITUDE right back at you!!! -Jenny

  • barbara says:

    It takes courage to honest with yourself. God bless you.

  • Gary says:

    Jenny, you are a beautiful person inside and out. I love your transparency in this post. There is a saying that goes ” We are only as sick as our secrets”. That saying means that when I share the real me with someone else, that secret no longer has the power to hold me back, keep me sick, stop me from being the person I want to be. I will be celebrating 22 years “clean” on October 6th. I only refer to myself as an addict when I am in a 12 step meeting. The reason I identify with that word is to remind myself that I am an addict. I have said it a million times since I started my recovery process and for 22 years I have never allowed my thinking to trick me into believing that I can use drugs or alcohol like a person that is not an addict. Addiction is a disease. It is incurable, fatal, cunning and baffling. It tells me that I do not have the disease and that I can socially drink again. I know this is not true for me. I do not tell people that I am not close to that I am an addict. I simply say I don’t drink when they ask me to have a beer or drink. These days addicts and alcoholics are seen as heroes among most of society because every family usually has at least one person struggling with some type of addiction and they have been for many years. My disease of addiction will remain anonymous to people that I don’t really need to share it with for various reasons but I never forget the hell I lived in for so many years. My life today is amazing and like you, I love to help others. I’m so glad that you shared this with us and just know that we love love love you , all of you. You are a miracle because most people never recover from their addiction. There are 3 places we end up when we do not choose recovery: Jails, Institutions and death. I choose life and I choose to spend an hour a day, my favorite hour a day, building my self-esteem, muscles, cardio and camaraderie with other like minded people at your gym. I hooked like a bad habit Jenny!!!
    Got nuthin but love for ya,
    Gary

    • Gary says:

      This sentence” These days addicts and alcoholics are seen as heroes among most of society because every family usually has at least one person struggling with some type of addiction and they have been for many years.

      Should read: These days recovering addicts and alcoholics are seen as heroes among most of society because every family usually has at least one person struggling with some type of addiction and they have been for many years.

      • Jenny Schatzle says:

        GARY!
        You know I love you so much THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for always being so open and honest. Can I get a hug when I see you next?!! And you know it…. I got nothing but LOVE for you all day everyday!

  • Theresa H says:

    Oh Jenny, I miss you so very much. Thank you for sharing this incredible story again. Thank you for reminding me that we all have anchors and that we can work through it and they don’t define us. You have taught me so very much about myself I don’t know if I ever can convey how much it truly means to me. Thank you for always encouraging me and providing inspiration from afar. I love you! Come visit me in Texas!!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Theresa!
      Miss you and Gary LOVE YOU both so much. We are not going anywhere so when you decide to come back we will be here!!!!!

  • Amy Kruse says:

    Again your post brings me to tears and I don’t even know you! You are a gifted writer and a true inspiration. Thank you for your candor.

  • Cate says:

    Thank you for addressing a difficult topic, Jenny.
    You are an amazing inspiration and role model in my life!
    I’m not quite where you are yet, but you encourage me to keep getting better❤️

  • Sarah Siegel says:

    Jenny,
    I love how you share your heart with the world. So very bravely and with such courage to be vulnerable! Your mom is absolutely right, you are one special lady.
    Thank you for inspiring me everyday. And you are so right on – we all struggle… deeply.
    love you big time,
    Sarah

  • Gretchen Pass says:

    Jenny, I am continually amazed and inspired by you. I am proud to know you. Keep on Keeping on!

  • Rob Schatzle says:

    speechless…..WOW

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      And NO you are not the guy with the soda issue in the blog ROB! I have lot’s of friends addicted to soda not just my brother!!!! I LVOE YOU SO MUCH and I miss you everyday!!!

  • Brady says:

    Jenny
    We all know you are amazing and I love the real raw truth that you write in your blog! I love reading it! 🙂 Miss you

  • Matt Rowe says:

    Thanks for sharing, Jenny! You’re an inspiration to me and to so many!!!

    Love your #1 fan

  • Holly says:

    So very proud of you, Jenny…it’s a HUGE accomplishment and I always think of you and how much you have overcome…love you!!!

  • Jenny.
    Your words perforated through my boxed-in comfort zone and the most magnificent light starting to shine in. I suppose the Universe wanted me to cross paths with this colossally awesome fine print. I read them on a day where I decided to stop the shaming + stop the labeling = on another level and degree … but the emotional, mental, spiritual & physical “parked” human just found some attitude to grow some pretty bad@$$ wings.

    Thank you for sharing. When I get my trained @$$ back to California, I’m going to drop by for a wildly invigorating workout, team hug, and the most legendary high five.

    – Stacia D (Scarborough, Maine ~~ formerly of Los Angeles) 🙂

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Stacia!
      Your words just gave me goosebumps! YES PLEASE come back to CALI and drop in for a HUGE HUG and HIGH-FIVE. I already LOVE YOU!!!!

  • Gabrielle says:

    Jenny!! So incredibly brave of you to share your beautiful story!! And to see the way others reacted to your post and read their stories moves me to tears!! Love this community, thank YOU for all you do and being a true role model!! This was my first read of your blog! Totally hooked ☺️

  • Rosa C. says:

    You are so BRAVE! You continued to amaze and inspire us with your energy and positivity. So grateful!

  • Tom Garcia says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your an inspiration. I also dislike those words to describe myself and choices I’ve made. It’s coming up on 7 years since I had my last drink and I’m blessed by that decision because it’s truly the day I started living. Your story is motivating me. I realize I’m still battling with my sugary foods and diet soda addictions and I need not be afraid to put them behind me. I have/had great opportunities come my way and I often get discouraged because I feel a loss of energy/motivation. I’m in denial cause I know it’s MY DIET and I haven’t been in to see you. I need some JSP.

  • Sarah S says:

    Jenny!
    I think I’m glad I didn’t read this until tonight because I wouldnt have been able to talk to you today without crying like a baby. Tears of joy, of course.
    I’m so honored to have you and your program in my life. Thank you for sharing your stories and your self with all of us. You inspire me and help me be my best self. (And my best self is pretty dang awesome!)
    I love you!
    Sarah

  • Amber says:

    You’re great 🙂 We’re anniversary buddies & it’s nice to hear and see others feeling the levels of PURE joy that I have experienced as a direct result of deciding to change my life October 1, 2012. Rock on girl!

  • Jennifer Schindler says:

    I cannot even begin to explain what your Strength, courage, and hope means to me and many others! All I kept saying to myself when I was reading your story was ” Me Too!”!
    I see all the similarities not differences! Thank you for sharing this!
    Sobriety is a gift and something to be very proud of! You are amazing! Congratulations on 4 years!
    Let go and let God!!!❤️

  • Great Testimony Jenny. Your story epitomizes the fact that happiness is not a person to find, a place to go, or a thing to buy, but simply a decision to make to love yourself as you are and then keep growing from there.
    Blessings,
    R. Ramos

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Richard.
      I am taking this as a quote from you I LOVE IT! I hope you know who much you inspire me. Love you so much!!
      Jenny

  • Timmy says:

    Love cuz-o

  • Angela King says:

    Wow! What an amazing, heartfelt honest story! I loved reading every bit of it! You are truly an inspiration to many! I can totally see why my sissy and sister love you and your classes so much! Keep up the amazing wrk!

  • Tina Wika says:

    Jenny!!!! You are such a rockstar!!!!
    Love & Happiness to you & your hubby!!!!

    Tim…..Whoa! Amen Amen Amen. Wow. Prayers on your Journey, blessings to you & your family!

  • Adam Vernes says:

    Way to go Schatzle! I’m very proud of you for taking charge and making change. You’re incredibly inspiring. You look great and you’re doing wonderfull things with your life. Keep fighting the good fight.

  • Stephanie Fodor says:

    Bravo! Jenny.
    The proof in how great sobriety is in how fabulous your life is today. Monkey mind no longer is taking up residency in your mind.
    You go girl!!

  • Suzanne Rogers says:

    Jenny, I just received ur email & even tho Ive never been to ur studio (yet) or taken any of ur classes. (yet). Im so glad I signed up for your email blog as ur message today was one of Great Courage & Strength – and “just what the Dr. ordered” today as Ive also decided its time for me to make some much-needed POSITIVE changes in my life…
    So, even tho Ive never met you or enrolled in the JS Program (yet)… i know i will – and soon! You are even more of an inspiration to me now!
    Thank you,
    Suzanne~

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Suzanne!
      Thank you for this message you were meant to receive that email with this message! Whenever you are ready come in I would LOVE to give you a hug and a high five! Means the world to me you read the blog so THANK YOU again!
      Jenny

  • Jody Whittaker says:

    Thank you Jenny for your openness and vulnerability. I haven’t seen one of your posts in my inbox in quite a while so it is very fitting that this is the one that showed up today. For me it’s food – on many occasions I’ve wished I could just “quit food” but it’s never that simple……… blaming external forces never works because change comes from the inside out. I’ve loved following your journey since we met in Australia a couple of years ago so thank you for being an inspiration for us all to find a way to love ourselves and in turn love life.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      JODY!
      Great to hear from you! Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting. I hope you are doing well! Stay in contact and maybe it’s time to plan a trip to CA!!!! I would LOVE that!!

  • Monika says:

    Jenny Ive loved and admired you all these years since I was that obnoxious 30 year old that went to your boot camps and said “bring it”. You’ve accomplished so much since then, and I very much appreciate your honesty. May you be free and alive always! I myself have begun a 12 step program this past summer and it’s a heck of journey facing life squarely and not to numb out or run away, but it’s worth it. I trust it’s all working out for the best.

  • Jen Mansbach says:

    You are a beautiful human — inside and out. Thank you for sharing your humanness with us.

  • Lauren Meers says:

    Jenny,
    I have followed your inspirational journey for a few years now and your fearlessness to stand up and be a voice for so many is truly badass. I reached a similar point in my alcoholism and in the moment I got real with myself, my whole world began to open up to the life I deserved. I was tired of feeling like a fraud in my life, at my own expense. For those of us that choose sobriety- sobriety from whatever toxic patterns it may be- we are really choosing to commit to the recovery, to the work, to the healing so essential in order to access our true potential and release our old stories. We are choosing to believe that there is something better, even when we don’t know what that could possibly feel like. Anyone looking to improve must believe somewhere deep inside that there can be a better way. And there IS! We do this work to support, to belong to each other. You provide all of us with a hand UP and the tools to shape our paths. I love you even more knowing the beast you have conquered and the courage it takes to get there. You welcome people into an energy where they are not alone, and no doubt you are living your purpose. We are all better for have you as our advocate. Rock on, sober sister! Thank you for reminding us that we must let go to lift up! And it’s glorious here on the other side of fear…we are HOME here!!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Lauren!
      First of all you are an amazing writer. Thank you for this I am blown away. You nailed it and I love all of this so much. Powerful words: A Life I deserve. Let go to lift up. Sober from whatever toxic pattern it may be.
      You get it and keep spreading it. LOVE YOU and I LOVE YOUR WORDS – Jenny

  • Merryl says:

    OMG do I adore you, beautiful Jenny! You are a gem and truly a gift to all who know you. xoxoxo

  • Julie says:

    Congratulations Jenny! Thank you for sharing your story. My husband celebrated his 10th bday last month. I am so proud of you both. It takes strength, love, and support to love life! Thank you for providing that to me via the JSP!

  • Doreen Eyman says:

    Well you are crazy and loud and you are addicting….hmmmm is there a good addiction? You make lives better! So I vote Jenny 4 President.

  • Lindsey (Courtney) Danielson says:

    Jenny,
    Your story is inspirung. As someone who knew you in high school and looked up to you the, I look up even more. I pray that one day I am given your same strength.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Lindsey!
      AWE Thank you so much you have no idea how much this means to me. I am shocked to read someone you looked up to in high school WOW thank you for that. I hope next time I am home we run into each other and I can give you a huge hug!!! Thank you so much for this message. – Jenny

      P.S. You do have my same strength except it’s YOUR strength and you just need to believe in it!!!! Love you girl!

  • Lynn R. says:

    Jenny, your authenticity is so refreshing! You are so good at being you! Your openness gives people permission to be themselves. You truly make this world a better place.

  • Dr. Roberta says:

    Having grown up in Alanon with a sober parent (and now several sober family members), all I can say is- I get it!
    As much as I LOVE addicts ( always such intriguing and compelling individuals), I love sober addicts even more.
    Congratulations on your sobriety Jenny!
    Dr. Roberta

  • Kristy S says:

    I’m so proud of you. It is so important for women of influence to speak up about sobriety so that we can start to remove this old fashioned stigma.

  • Espie Carr says:

    Jenny… I love your transparency… It is inspiring. Look what you started!!! How other people are sharing their stories on your blog because of you being “real” . Sharing isn’t always easy…
    What I love is that you don’t share “just to share” You share because you want to touch lives. To see people change and feel good about who they are in a healthy way.
    You are encouraging so many people with your openness… Helping people shed the funk so they can shine.
    Miss you and the team! God bless you!
    Big Huggs
    ❤️❤️❤️ Espie

  • Nicole S says:

    Yaaaaaay, Jenny!! Your story is my story, too. Though the circumstances were different, drugs and alcohol were my solution to living, too…until they were my downfall. Like you, now really living my life is it’s own solution. I have so much to be grateful for, including the opportunity to better myself through your program. Yahoo!

  • Lisa Wysel says:

    Jenny – I was told once by a wise soul that we spend the first part of our lives finding our unique gifts and the next part of our lives giving them away. You are definitely in the “giving away” phase and this letter is a beautiful example of that. Love you my birthday buddy, (December 29th is a good day:)
    Lisa

  • Cathy says:

    From the first time I met you, I knew you had something for me…. I am three years sober as of this last May 13th! You have no idea how much your share has touched my soul. I am at work and fighting back the tears of joy/relief/hope! I was able to done one sessions with you and loved it. I want to come back so I will do all the side jobs I can to hopefully start the next session! Thank you for being in my life!

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      Cathy!
      Thank you for this response. I am proud of you and yes we are meant to be in each others lives! I can’t wait to see you and give you a huge hug!!!

  • Sarah Parenteau says:

    Jenny,
    Simply put, I love you. I love the light that you bring to the world. I love the bravery and transparency you possess that helped you share your story with all of us. You have this incredible ability to make everyone feel important and loved. I can’t tell you how much that means to so many people. Thank you. ❤

  • leeanna says:

    When I decided I was going to quit drinking no one believed me. They said, oh Pepperbottom, the bar star, she’ll make it a week, maybe 2. Here I am 2 years later and it is the best decision I have made. Both of my parents were alcoholics. My dad died of liver failure in February, and my mom has permanent brain damage. The best part of losing the booze is that my mental illness is in remission and I am in a healthy place. Now I can be the best health and wellness coach I can be. I’m not embarrassed to say that I have Bipolar Disorder and that I don’t drink. Everyday is Friday! It’s the first day of fall – How will you ever get what you want if you don’t put it out into the universe? Be proud of who you are. You never know who you’ll inspire.

    http://youtu.be/K2srYlbgryw

  • Kelley McBurnie says:

    Jenny,
    Though I am not a member, the headline of your post caught my eye. If you hate saying “i’m sober” –say “I won!” because it seems to me that you have. I can’t tell you how inspired I am by your honesty and courage. Keep moving forward- you are doing a fantastic job! A million good wishes for you!

  • Irene says:

    Thank you for sharing. You are a strong brave women.

  • Lori Valentino says:

    Thank you for sharing!! I have admired you for years and NEVER had any idea why I was drawn to you and your infectious smile love and joy!
    I was suppose to run at the she is beautiful 10K last Saturday and I was super excited to see you but I had to stay home, my husband is a alcoholic and couldn’t trust him with our 3 children, he promised he would be okay and I could go but on Friday morning he was so drunk that I decided not to go, I missed seeing you but most of all I missed the man I married he is much different these days, but I am hopeful, the man today is a empty man, he’s a broken man and he has turned to bottles and bottles of vodka all day long, i have taken away the keys, credit cards, access to any money that he could get to, but he had managed to find a way to get his next bottle, I pleaded with the liquor store to stop selling it to him, I am hopeful that one day he will say “I am an alcoholic” and “I need help” I AM hopeful…. thank you for listening

  • Steve Roth says:

    Jenny – I have many friends who do your program and I’ve seen your name around town now for quite a while. My wife forwarded your blog to me, and to be honest, I deleted it because I was ‘too busy’. But for some reason, I went to my deleted email folder, opened it and read it anyway. It was very heart-felt and authentic and your story is both uplifting and inspirational. As someone who is 10 months sober now, I could identify with a lot of what you said. As I’ve gone through my life over the months since my last drink to try to figure out how I had gotten to the point where my drinking had become uncontrollable and how I came to need alcohol, I reached the very real and painful conclusion that I was addicted to control, anger, resentment, depression and being the victim. I do not mean to make light of anyone else out there suffering, in fact quite the opposite. It became obvious that I drank because of those things, because I felt powerless and helpless to change them. I realized that if I didn’t work on those areas, which really meant working on myself and how I dealt with things I couldn’t control, I would stay miserable and would never be able to stay sober. It is still difficult sometimes to live life knowing that I can’t control people, places or things (which I remind myself means everything and everyone but myself), but it makes a huge difference. And not being so frustrated with everything and everyone all the time feels like a huge weight has been lifted and I no longer live under a dark cloud (sorry for the clichés but they are spot-on). And the clarity that has come from being sober is almost too good to be true. Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Beverly Lindberg says:

    How many ways can I say I love you?! This is a wonderful post and such important information to share honestly. We live in a shame based culture and it is so refreshing to move away from that paradigm and embrace who we are, with all that entails. I always love being around people who tell the truth and are authentic and could a mother-in-law be any more fortunate than to have you as a daughter? And for my beloved son to have you for his life partner? Thank you, and more thanks. xo

  • Sally Gould says:

    Jenny, love your blogs. Thank you for sharing your intimate story…you inspire us everyday to love ourselves more. You’re a living example of honesty and you are loved by many. You have inspired my husband and I to do more than we ever thought possible. Thank you for what you do for the Santa Barbara community. We love you and we’ll miss you this winter.

  • Kathryn says:

    Wow! This could be my story! I have been sober for 3 years and 7 months. I came into the program in January 2011 and it took me just over 2 years to finally accept I was an alcoholic Once I became sober I realized how much I hid my feelings with my drinking. I remember telling my husband in counseling in 2008 how he treated his clients, friends and co-workers better than he treated me and all I ever wanted from him was to be accepted however how could he accept me if I didn’t accept myself! We separated in November 2011 and our divorce was finalized on September 11, 2013. All of 2012 was a very dark, sad year for me. I didn’t think my life was worth living and I had so much fear of being on my own. Today I can honestly say I am a strong, confident woman and even though I still struggle financially and my healing has been a slow process I know that I,have gained so much more than I lost. The greatest gift I have received from being sober is that my daughters are PROUD of who I am today. I still struggle with wanting a relationship some day however I am not willing to settle for just an ok companion. I lost my voice in my marriage and now I have found it again and I am truly happy, joyous and FREE! Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Jenny Schatzle says:

      WOW KATHRYN!
      My soul sister, thank you for sending this comment. Sending you so much love and positivity right now. I literally just wrote another blog about marriage and how no one can make you happy unless you make yourself happy! Please know you are not alone and we are all in this fight together. Just like your girls I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
      Jenny

  • Maggie G. says:

    Jenny,

    This post is brave and helpful to so many who can relate to this struggle and many others. I have a lot of parallells to your story, but certainly not your undying energy! I love it! Having known you a little bit in high school I am truly proud of what you have accomplished. Always inspired by your words and actions out there :).

  • Hi! I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Dallas Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!

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