This week’s blog is a MUST READ. Earlier this week, I received an email from a client named Melynda about the speech her 14-year-old daughter wrote. I asked if her daughter Catalina would be willing to share her speech. Please read this blog and learn about the impact this young woman is making in the world!
Jenny, My 14-year-old daughter had to write a speech for her English class. The assignment was called “Speech for Change.” She was asked to give a speech about something she wants to change in the world. She finished working on it yesterday and asked me to proofread it. She started out the speech with “I’m too fat,” “I’ll never be good enough,” and other negative phrases. My heart just about stopped, but when I continued to read I was brought to tears. She wrote her speech on how people hate themselves and put themselves down, and how that negative behavior creates anxiety and low self-esteem. She continued her speech by talking about how “you are your own best friend” and how you would never say those things to your best friend because it would be devastating. You have no idea how emotional yet awesome it was to read that. My heart was exploding with pride. Jenny, you and the rest of your team came into my life right when I needed it the most and I don’t mean just for my physical health. It helped me get myself right in my mind so that I could be there for my daughter. To read what she wrote was such an amazing moment and it made me realize that we both have come a long way. To top it off, I felt like I was hearing you speak, almost like she channeled you after hearing you speak in a Jenny Schatzle class. It was beautiful and still makes me cry! I FREAKING LOVE IT!!!
Below is Catalina’s speech that she wrote entirely on her own:
I’m too fat
I’m too skinny
I’m not good enough
I wish I can be like her
I can’t do anything right
Too often, people brutally judge and attack themselves. If everyone treated others as poorly as they treat themselves, the world would be full of hate towards one another. Is that how you would want to live? The old Bible passage, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” would mean more love for one another and acceptance. That would be a world in which I would want to live in. Negative beliefs about yourself can be called self-judgment, self-attack, or low self-esteem. It all boils down to one menacing problem: self-hatred. At its breaking point, self-hatred can lead people to use extreme behaviors. The types of behaviors could include suicide, crime, self-destruction, or violent acts towards others. If you beat up on yourself, or are disgusted with yourself or experience the effects of self-hatred, there are two important things to know: why the self-hatred exists and what you can do about it.
People start developing self-hatred at a young age from trauma that was caused by a parent, guardian, another adult, or even society. Children start developing this feeling when they are told that they are doing something wrong or that they are just not good enough. As a child, instead of thinking that something a parent, guardian, or adult says is not okay, the child starts to think, “What’s wrong with me?” This happens because this is how a child’s mindset works. Children need stability, comfort and safety. It is much less chaotic for a child to think something is wrong with himself, than to think he cannot rely on the people whom he depends for food, shelter, and survival. From this point on, the child will start feeling insecure and later in life will adopt more negative feelings such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and low confidence. These feelings are what can ultimately lead to self-hatred.
This needs to change! Every time you feel like this or want to say something negative about yourself, think about your best friend. Think about her and think about whether you would tell her these things. Would you call her ugly? Would you say that she’s too fat to wear those jeans? Or that she’ll will never find someone who likes her? NO! You would never say those things because you know it would crush her and maybe even destroy her self-esteem. So take this into consideration when you are about to think a negative thought about yourself. Remember that you are your own best friend and you shouldn’t say those mean and hurtful things to yourself. Instead, replace those thoughts with: “Hey you look so good today or damn!! You look irresistible!” Even the smallest compliment can make your day.
Overall self-hate is something that many people deal with and if you happen to be one of those people, remember that you are your own best friend and that someone will always care about you no matter what.
Catalina and Melynda
I’m BEYOND happy that young women are spreading this message of positive self-talk and promoting the idea of loving yourself. This is the exact message that I am spreading in my Movement! Let’s all take a page out of Catalina’s book and talk to ourselves as if we are our own best friend. Because guess what? We are. How we talk to ourselves affects how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves affects our overall self-worth.
Let’s all say ONE NICE THING to ourselves today!
With love and power,